The 7 best ways to revise during sex
We've all been there - your exam is on Monday and you settle down into your revision notes on Friday knowing you've got all weekend to study. You've got this - absolutely nobody, not even that girl who always gets firsts even if she hands something in a week late, is going to be more prepared for this exam than you are.
And then your phone buzzes - that person you've been talking to for a few weeks wants to know if you fancy a "movie night" at theirs. The offer is too tempting and your revision schedule is floating slowly out the window. But what if there's a way to do both? Well luckily thanks to us, now there is...
1. Put post-it notes on the ceiling.
This way, when they're on top you'll be able to look past their shoulder and do your coursework while they're doing all the other work (wink, wink).
2. Have a book next to your partner's head.
Or just on the pillow in general. This means if you're on top or they're taking you from behind, you can finish that chapter you've been meaning to finish all week.
3. See how many key terms you can remember before orgasm.
If you think about it, girls have the upper hand here. Women generally take longer to finish than men do, and now you've actually got a reason to be happy about that fact - because more time to orgasm means more time to revise, right?
4. Every time you/they thrust - recite a fact.
It's pretty self-explanatory really. If you run out of facts, just go back to the beginning and start again. After all, repetition is key...
5. "Discipline" them if they get it wrong.
Introduce revision games into the bedroom by asking your partner questions. If they get it right, do something pleasurable for them. But if they get it wrong, stop what you're doing to make sure that - next time - they won't make the same mistake.
6. Do a pop quiz - you get an answer right, they take their clothes off. You get it wrong, you take your own off.
This is a tamer version of No. 5 and is actually a lot more fun - it's like a revision version of strip poker, but better for students because you're risking your deadlines rather than money (and everyone knows students have no money but plenty of deadlines).
7. Complete a past paper. Each grade equates to a base.
For example, a third is first base. A 2:2 is second, 2:1 a third and a first is fourth. This would be a great revision technique for all the sports students out there, because everyone knows how much they love a competition.
