10 steps to pulling your course mate on a night out: as told by House of Cards
You’re invited to the next social on FB. Scanning the page to see who’s going, you see a familiar face – the person you’ve been trying to pull since you borrowed their pen in the introductory lecture.
Time drags but finally it’s the night of the social and you find yourself strolling into the bar, a little nervous but keeping it well hidden.
You spot them immediately, at the other end of the room. When they look over and smile, you play it cool.
Checking Snapchat quickly bores you so you head back inside. Striding confidently up to your future fuck buddy, you get 90 seconds alone with them before they rush off to do shots with people you don’t know.
Your friend offers to be your wingman, which inevitably ends with them getting hammered and making you look like a cock.
Fuck it, you’re going alone. You’ve had a few drinks so you sidle up to them and start chatting. Things go really well, you’re inseparable for most of the night talking to each other and you even come out with some witty line about that tutor you both hate.
Suddenly your drunken wingman returns and, taking you to one side, tells you that they’ve sobered up and are ready to help you. This is the response they expect...
... But this is the response they receive.
Your idiot of a friend is pissing you both off so you move away and leave them ranting about Brexit. Hit with a surge of self-assurance from all the vodka, you casually ask them if they'd want to have a drink back at yours. Two minutes later, you’re leaving and you feel the whole course is spurring you on.
The rest of the night blurs into a hot mess, but you remember your Southern manners and make sure to ask if you’re doing things right.
The next morning you wake up feeling great. However, as fun as things were, it’s ten past eight now and you have a lecture at nine, so you try and subtly bring up that it’s getting late and you need to shower.
